


Nevermind

by Garish_Flower



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Murder House
Genre: Alive!Tate Langdon, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Dirty Thoughts, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nirvana - Freeform, Plus Size!OC, PreDeath!Tate Langdon, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Swearing, curvy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 09:55:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16093262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garish_Flower/pseuds/Garish_Flower
Summary: Tate struggles with his home life and school however he finds solace in his friend, Lorena.Tate centric fic





	1. Smells Like Teen Spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration: The general background for this song is that it originally started out as a joke song (i mean look at the lyrics) but it became known more as a call to revolution and rebellion amongst teenagers. There are also a lot of references to Kurt Cobain’s history of drug abuse and depression throughout the song. 

Tate sat on his creaky bed nervously shaking his knee as he watched the time tick away on his analog clock that sat next to his desk.

6:00 AM

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

He abruptly stood up and turned it off smacking his hand down hard on the silencer button. He stood up and frowned looked at himself in the mirror in the corner of his room. He ran a hand through his typical shaggy hair and tugged on his flannel that was over a plain black shirt.

He buttoned it up and left the black of his shirt exposed underneath and then frowned. No. he liked it better unbuttoned today and undid the buttons opening it back up again.

Reaching down, he picked up his backpack and quickly ran down the steps, careful to avoid his mother and that piece of shit Larry while he passed the kitchen on his way out of the door.

He quickly walked down the block and stopped a few houses down looking at the big Victorian style doors and debating on if he should go down and knock on them. A girl’s head popped out and she smiled and waved at Tate. He sucked in sharply “I’ll be right out!” She said grinning and going back inside.

Lorena.

She lived three houses down from him and they would occasionally walk to school together to go to a study hall that happened before class started.

He watched her walk down the steps of her home and licked his lips seeing her wide hips and plush thighs. Jesus what he wouldn’t give to have those wrapped around his head while he gripped her hips and tasted-

“You ready to go Tate?”

He turned and blinked a few times clearing his mind “Huh?” He asked. “Oh yeah, we can go.” Tate walked next to Lorena and matched her pace

“Did you hear what happened in Waco?” She asked looking over her shoulder and at Tate.

He shrugged his shoulders “No,” He said shaking his head “What happened?”

Lorena stopped and looked at her friend “It’s been all over the news!” She gripped the straps of her backpack and continued walking “The FBI tried to search some cult and they ended up shooting at each other.” He listened to her talk on and on about the news coverage and how they were at a standoff and the death tolls. He liked listening to her talk about things she was passionate about, it lights up a fire in her eyes that seemed to burn with the desire to do something worthwhile in the world. She only got this way when things interested her, she was typical easily bored and very loud about the fact while in class.

Their school came into view and Lorena turned to Tate “Well I need to go study for this exam I have in my first class. It’s too loud in my house.” She said turned on her heel and left.

The school day blurred together, it was the same as every other school day. He leaned back in his chair in his last class that he shared with Lorena, calculus. He understood it all, but it made him bored learning things he already understood

“Mr. Langdon, do you know the answer? Here we are now, entertain us with your thoughts.” The teacher said.

Tate furrowed his brows he hated his calculus teacher. He was tall, thin, and balding and wore glasses that caused his eyes to look like they bugged out “No. I wasn’t paying attention.” He murmured.

The teacher turned back to the board “Of course you weren’t, you never apply yourself Mr. Langdon.” And continued writing the equation.

Tate huffed “It is supposed to be five cosign two x minus five not tangent by the way.” He pointed out on the board “But with your salary I don’t expect you to know what you are actually teaching.” He had a smartass smirk spreading across his face. His mind worked well with math and he enjoyed it when he was learning things he didn’t know previously, but once he understood a subject he immediately lost interest. It had nothing more to offer him, much like this class. 

The teacher turned to him flustered and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off buy the bell “I want you to stay after class Mr. Langdon.” His teacher said loudly over the shuffle of zippers and paper being shifted and stuffed into backpacks.

Tate stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder and lifted his middle finger flipping the teacher off as he left the room. He walked to Lorena’s locker and waited for her to make her way through the sea of people eager to leave school. “Jesus, Tate, what’s made you so snippy today.” She asked grinning and nudging him out of the way of her locker.

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned against the locker next to hers “I’m sick of how he always calls me out, so I called him out.” He said as though it was a simple fact.

Lorena nodded her head in agreement “Yeah, he’s kind of a cock.” She said slamming her locker shut and starting to walk away. Tate walked quickly and followed after her “I still can’t believe Waco.” She said tugging on her backpack straps “It’s just fucking crazy how one guy can brain wash so many people.”

Tate nodded his head in agreement, once again listening to what she said and only adding little bits of input into their conversation. He liked hearing her talk, however before he knew it she looked up at him “Well. I’ll see you tomorrow?” She said looking up at him.

He looked down at her and swallowed thickly “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said before flashing a quick smile and watching her walk into her home. The door to her house closed and he continued the short walk home.

At the door he was met with an angry Constance, he pushed past her, and she gripped his shoulder sharply and spun him around “Don’t walk past me, young man.” She hissed “You need to explain yourself. Why did I get a call from your teacher?” She said gripping his elbow now tightly.

He frowned “I don’t need to say shit to you.” He said and shrugged her off him. He continued up the stairs as Constance followed him.

“Don’t talk to me like that. I am your mother.” She spat behind him walking up the stairs to keep up with his long strides.

“You’re the shittiest mother anyone could fucking ask for Constance. I cook and tuck your children into bed while you go around and put every dick you see in your god damn mouth.” He shouted back into her face.

Constance’s face turned red in a furious rage and she raised her hand and smacked him across the face. Tate’s face turned, and he gripped his cheek as it stung and turned red “I want, you to go upstairs and I don’t want to see you until dinner.” 

Tate’s face contorted in anger “Oh you mean you’re going to give your jaw a break? It must get tired after a while.” He shouted after her as she rushed down the stairs.

Tate rushed into his room and threw his backpack onto his bed and he shut his lights off and turned on his lamp before he reached for a shoebox under his bed. He shoved the contents of his desk off with one swipe of his arm and cleared it.

He pulled out a card from his wallet and uncovered the shoe box and pulled out a small white baggy of cocaine. He dumped a small pile on the desk and crunched up the little chunks into three small little lines onto his desk. He blinked while trying to focus in the dark lighting; Tate rapidly opened and closed the drawers of his desk looking for a pen. He found one and pulled it out and took it apart so that only the tube was left. He licked his finger and cleared the area around and rubbed it around on his gums and teeth, he grimaced at the bitter chemical taste that flooded his mouth. But it was soon over, and his lips and tongue were numb and tingly, he smiled lightly at the feeling. He dipped his head down and put the straw to his nose and snorted three lines quickly and sniffed while keeping his opposite nostril plugged so he could get it all down. He cleared his throat and shivered when the first drip went down and shook his head side to side. His heart beat began to thump against his chest and euphoria began to spread over his body. His face and sinuses were numb; he stood in the mirror and touched his face feeling the softness of his skin and relishing the tingly that spread through him. His pupils were blown and caused the dark brown of his eyes to be lost and the area around his eyes turned red as his blood pressure began to rise and cause the blood vessels in his eyes to expand. There was something about doing debaucherous activities in the dark that made him feel better.

He sniffed and grimaced as another bitter drip fell down the back of his throat and he rubbed his hands on his pants and inhaled and exhaled rapidly while his heart pounded against his chest. He clenched and unclenched his jaw as he reached on shaky hand out and grabbed his Numb by Hammerbox CD and popped it into his boombox. He turned it up, so it was loud enough to drown out the sounds that seeped through his walls and took his flannel off. He was getting warm, so warm.

Constance pounded her fist against the door and Tate clenched his fists as rage engulfed him. He abruptly stood up “What the fuck do you want!” He shouted at his door.

“Turn that shit down, Larry is on a work call.” She shouted back equally as loud.

“Fuck Larry and fuck you.” He shouted slamming his fist on the door out of anger, “I don’t have to do shit for him.” He screamed. He was pissed at Constance for ruining his high. What seemed like a matter of seconds was actually a matter of minutes and he was met with the sudden and abrupt comedown. He turned and leaned against the door and slid down causing his shirt to ride up his back and the wood to scratch at him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned his head back against the wooden door as he zoned out. He lazily blinked as he sniffed and shivered when the sour drip fell down his throat, his brain was fried after such a rapid burst of energy.

He leaned on the floor on his side and his heavy lids threatened to shut on him while he struggled to stay awake. The sheer weight of his eyes felt unbearable as he finally succumbed to his exhaustion, his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing and heart rate dropped back down to its normal pace.

Moira appeared in front of him, his frail elderly housekeeper. She crouched down “Tate, dear.” She said softly and put her hand on his shoulder.

He immediately sat up and inhaled sharply “What?” He asked, his eyes still red.

“You need to eat.” Her demeanour was timid, she felt as though she was walking on eggshells around him.

He nodded his head “Yeah, of course.” He said, his throat was sore from the acidic mucus that dripped down. He gripped her hand and stood up, Tate turned and gripped the handle “Moira?” He said and turned, looking over his shoulder and saw nothing. He sighed, alone again, and walked down the stairs seeing Moira standing in the corner of their kitchen waiting in case anyone needed anything.

Tate grabbed the chair next to Addy and sat down next to her while Constance and Larry sat at each end. He always seemed to have a permanent frown whenever he was around his mother and Larry, he unfolded his cloth napkin and placed it on his lap and poked at his food. He wasn’t hungry, he was exhausted and wanted to sleep. He nervously shook his leg while staring down at his plate of food and rubbed his nose. He hated the itch he got after doing cocaine, he rubbed his nose hard and cleared his throat. He had to keep it together for Addy, her happiness was so pure and innocent. It was one of the only things that could put a smile on his face. He cleared his throat again and sneezed, looking down at his hand he saw it was speckled with blood. “Fuck.” He said and stood up and ran to the bathroom and grabbed a wad of toilet paper and held it up to his nose.

The white tissue was soon stained red from the blood that fell from his corroded nose. He leaned against the sink and groaned out of frustration “God fucking damn it.” He said while washing his hands after his nose stopped bleeding. He dried his hands on his pants and walked back to the dinner table.

“So, are you going to tell me why your teacher called me?” Constance asked sipping on her glass of wine.

Tate rolled his eyes and sat down “If he called you then you already know, don’t you?” He asked.

Constance frowned, she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him “You’re a smart boy Tate, you can do anything in the world and you choose to act like this.” She said setting her glass down abruptly causing it to clink against the table.

Tate leaned back in his chair “Yeah, it’s a shame I’m busy taking care of Addy and Beau while you go out and fuck our neighbors.”

Constance’s eyes narrowed as she stared Tate down “I don’t want to hear another word out of you.” She said and pursed her lips.

“Wow, no wonder why dad left us, you don’t do shit around the house.” He said and stood up and began to leave the room.

“Your father has nothing to do with this Tate and you know it. Stop making excuses for this attitude.”

Tate continued walking out of the kitchen and back up to his bedroom. He needed to sleep.


	2. In Bloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration: So this has to be one of my favorite songs on the track. It is about how Kurt Cobain and Nirvana is calling out all of the posers that follow him. Not a lot of the people who listened to his music really listened to it and interpreted it. I also like to think that any time he references nature; he is talking about women. Cobain craved a lot of maternal attention and it reflected that in a lot of his earlier relationships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you all are enjoying season 8 of AHS because I know I am! It’s fucking wild so far. Once again if you don’t like how I interpreted these keep it to yourself.

Lunchtime was always one of Tate’s least favorite times of the day. It was loud, and people were everywhere. The sounds were overwhelming to his senses. Lorena sat next to him at their usual table outside. He shook his leg up and down nervously, she lightly put her hand on his knee “Hey,” She said softly “It’s okay.” She said smiling softly “I’m going to fill up my water bottle do you want me to grab you anything?” she offered.

Tate smiled back at her and shook his head “Nah, I’m fine.” He said watching her stand up and walk away.

Lorena walked through the various tables as Tate eyed her. A hand smacked her ass and wrapped around her waist “What are you doing sitting over by that loser?” She looked up and saw Kyle, the local douchebag jock and frowned.

“I like his company?” She said looking away and trying to pull away.

He tugged Lorena onto his lap as she squirmed uncomfortably “You know you’re a little on the thick side, but with an ass like that you have to be begging for a good time.” He said running his fingers through her hair.

Lorena felt an uncomfortable shiver creep up her spine “I’m fine.” She said standing up only to be pulled back down.

Tate walked up to their table and frowned “What the hell do you think you’re doing.” He snapped.

Kyle looked up and tightened his grip on the girl in his lap “Showing your friend what a real man is like.”

Tate grabbed Lorena’s arm and pulled her off “By being a creep?” He asked and looked over to the small radio they had playing Heart-Shaped box. “Do you even know what this album is about?” He asked. He knew In Utero by heart. “It’s about the disrespect women in society have. You should actually give it a listen instead of being a poser.” He said as Lorena clung to his arm “Come on Lorie.” He said and pulled her away. “The fragile masculinity is overwhelming here.”

Lorena bit her lip to hide her laughter as the jaws of the jocks at the table dropped. Her heart was racing, and her hands were shaking, but admired Tate’s tact on the situation. “Thank you.” She said stopping at the water fountain and watching the water slowly reach the top off her metallic bottle.

Tate looked at his friend “It’s no problem.” He said “I couldn’t watch that happen and not step in.” He shook his head, having a sister really made him protective over Lorena. That and any time he had the chance to call Kyle out on his bullshit and publicly shame him he took full advantage of it.

He and Lorena sat back at their usual table he shook his leg up and down looking off into the flowers that had just started blooming. Student council had said nature would improve the mood around campus and cause students to be more positive, do naturally the school invested money in buying plants. His mind wandered to the darker parts of his brain and he scowled thinking of Kyle.

That stupid fucker, he really thought he could do that to Lorena? HIS Lorena?

He frowned, she wasn’t his just yet. It was still something he was working towards.

He thought of Chleo, Kyle’s girlfriend. How the hell could she put up with someone like that?

His mind flashed to Kyle laying on the ground with a bullet hole in his brain, the thought was satisfying to him. Someone shits on everyone so much like he does really should be plaguing the world too long. He was an unnecessary black spot in this cesspool we call society.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Lorena chimed.

Tate chewed on his lips, he would rather not share his thoughts with her and potentially scare her away, “It’s nothing important.” He said softly.    

\---

Classes ended, and he was home sooner that he had hoped. He walked and saw the house was seemingly empty. He walked up to his room and threw his backpack on top of his bed and pulled out one of his books and set it down on his desk opening to the page assigned for reading. He frowned hearing a muffled commotion coming from down the hall.

Getting up he followed it, “What the fuck is that…” He thought out loud and approached one of the spare bedrooms in their impossibly large house.

Muffled screams and sobs were breaking through the thick wooden door “Addy?” He asked recognizing it. He panicked “Addy!” He shouted louder and pounded on the door and tugged on the handle.

Locked.

He ran into his Mother’s bedroom and was began to rummage through the tops of her dressers and night stand before he finally found a key. He unlocked it and caught his sister as she fell out of it. As the door opened it revealed a room full of mirrors that was as small as a closet “Addy? What the hell, how long have you been in here?” He asked wrapping his arms tightly around her and petting her head warmly to try and get her to calm down.

She hiccupped “Mom put me in the bad girl room.” She said through broken sobs.

He frowned, he couldn’t fucking stand Constance, “Why?” He asked sitting down and pulling her onto his lap.

Addy curled into his tall frame finding comfort in her older brother, “I told her I wanted to be a pretty girl and she said girls like me can’t be pretty girls.”

Tate clenched his jaw and noticed discolored bruises on her arm from when Constance shoved her into the closet, he brushed his fingers against them and Addy flinched. He shook his head, the way she treated his siblings disgusted him. He pulled back and looked at his sister “Hey, hey, hey.” He said softly and tilting her face up to him “You know you are prettier than Constance will ever be Addy, hell you’re prettier than any of the girls I’ve ever met!” Her face broke into a bashful smile “There we go.” He said hugging her tightly seeing her mood lifted.

She laughed a little to herself “I know you’ve never met any girls so how can I be prettier than them?” She asked bluntly.

Tate mocked being offended “What! I know tons of girls.” He said and laughed at her sassy attitude, “Come on, do you want to help me make some mac n cheese for dinner?” He asked standing up and pulling her up with him.

Addy brushed her dress off and nodded her head “Can you read to me afterwards?” She asked looking down at her feet.

Tate put his hands on his hips “Is it green eggs and ham again?” He asked, she nodded her head “Of course you know I love that book.” He said and began to walk down the steps “We should get started so we aren’t up too late.” He would never tell Addy that he had the book nearly memorized from how often she asked for it to be read to her or that he was currently drowning in homework because he knew how upset she would have been by it.

After they were done making dinner they sat together on the couch in their living room watching reruns of Fraggle Rock, it was one of her favorite shows. He enjoyed nights like this when he and Addy had the house to themselves and they could spend time together. Even when plagued with his darkest thoughts, Addy still managed to allow light to break through and brighten up his dark mind. The grandfather clock chimed signaling it was 8 pm. Time for bed. Addy looked at him “Can I stay up later?” She asked and pointed at the TV “Captain Kangaroo just came on, please Tate?” she begged.

Tate grinned, she knew how to twist his arm “Of course, but only another 30 minutes.” He said and turned the volume up a few notches.

Once the 30 minutes passed he made sure Addy was ready for bed and sat at the foot of her bed with Green Eggs and Ham on his lap. He opened the book and inhaled before he began to read, Addy reached out and grabbed his arm “Wait!” She interrupted “You have to do the voices.” She said smiling.

Tate nodded his head “Of course.” He said smiling and beginning to read enjoying her laughter whenever he did a silly voice. Within a few pages she was asleep, however he continued to read just in case she would wake up in the middle of the story. 

As he excited her room he saw Constance walking through the front door, gussied up for her night out “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked looking at her “Locking Addy in that room for god knows how long?”

Constance looked up at him her eyes glazed over from having one too many cups of wine “What?” She asked.

“You locked her in that god damn closet and I came home and had to take care of her and make dinner. What the fuck is wrong with you? You talk about how I have so many opportunities, yet you go out and leave me alone to take care of your children because you’re a terrible mother and I end up staying up all night doing homework.” He squinted his eyes trying to wrap his head around her thought process.

Constance blinked at him, clearly not registering what he was saying to her. He shook his head and walked into his room “Never mind. Why don’t you pop a few more xannys? And maybe you won’t wake up in the morning.” He spat and shut his door loudly behind him.


End file.
